


Wonderful Without Me

by callistawolf



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas, F/M, Future Fic, It's a Wonderful Life, Plot Twists, Surprise Ending, don't let the warning scare you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-23
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-05 16:21:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1096053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callistawolf/pseuds/callistawolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver Queen loses his faith one difficult Christmas Eve and wants to throw it all away.  Will some divine intervention change his mind?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to lunarsilverwolfstar for giving me a quick read and beta on this. There are three parts to this story, and I'll post each of them over the next three days, finishing up on Christmas Eve! 
> 
> What can I say, I got super inspired when watching "It's a Wonderful Life" last night. Merry Christmas, Arrow fandom!
> 
> (psst... the character death is NOT Oliver or Felicity!)

Oliver Queen was having a hard day.  It was probably the hardest day he'd had since he'd returned from Lian Yu ten years earlier.  It was as though the whole world was against him, and every disappointment and sacrifice he'd made over the years was being thrown back in his face. His life, quite frankly, was not the way he'd imagined it being.  It was big and messy and complicated.

His vision, when he'd returned to Starling City, had been to right his father's wrongs and save his city.  He'd hoped to reunite with Laurel Lance and, after his city was set back on track, live a peaceful life with her.  What he'd gotten was… quite different.

Today, it had all come crashing down around his ears.  On Christmas Eve, no less!  After everything he'd done over the years to help his city and save his father's company, Malcolm Merlyn, returned from the dead, had finally gotten a chokehold on  _both_.  He was bent on revenge, blaming the Arrow (and by extension, Oliver himself) for the death of his son even though it was his scheme that had taken Tommy from them.  Not only had he been terrorizing the Glades, now sending in his protege as the Dark Archer, but Malcolm had been trying for months to gain control of Queen Consolidated.  And just today, he'd made a move that made it look like he'd finally get his wish.  The board was voting with him over Oliver, exploiting Oliver's distraction with the Dark Archer and his own family from Queen Consolidated's looming troubles.  Just last night, the Dark Archer had killed Roy Harper, Oliver's good friend and partner on the streets.  It was all his fault; he should never have let the Red Arrow go into that building alone.  He'd thought the kid could handle it.  Now, instead of a happy family Christmas like he'd been expecting, there'd be grief and anguish and trying to comfort Thea in her devastation.  It wasn't fair to Thea, to his family, or to him.  It just wasn't  _fair._

It had all become too much.  And as Oliver sat on the roof of the QC building in his Arrow gear, he looked out on the city and thought about leaving it all behind.  Going far, far away from Starling City and all the troubles that awaited him here.  In his despair, he began to talk to himself.

"I need to get away from here," Oliver mumbled, his breath puffing out before him in the still, cold, night air.  A few flakes were beginning to fall gently around him, adding to the quiet stillness.  "Start a new life."

"Are you sure that's the answer?" a voice behind him said.

Oliver whirled around to see… Tommy Merlyn.  His old friend stood there, looking just the same as he had almost ten years ago, when he'd died in his arms.  This wasn't the first time he'd seen his dead friend.  The last time had been in a time of need, when he'd felt beaten and low.  Well, not unlike now.

"Tommy!" he gasped.

"Looking good, Oliver.  For an old man.  Remember when we thought 37 was old?"  Tommy chuckled, rolling his eyes.

"It is old," Oliver growled.  "Too old to be doing what I'm doing.  I'm done, Tommy.  I can't do this anymore.  I can't live this life anymore."

Tommy walked up to him, hands shoved deep in his trouser pockets.  He was biting his lower lip and looking contemplative.  "What about Felicity and the kids?  Could you just walk away from them?"

A pang struck Oliver's heart as he thought of his wife.  Of his two kids, Robert and Megan.  "No," he finally admitted quietly, casting his eyes down.  "I couldn't."

Tommy smiled crookedly.  "I didn't think so.  So why don't you get down off this roof and go to them?   They're waiting for you, worrying.  Felicity even prayed.  That's why I'm here."

"She prayed?  Are you kidding me?  She just about chewed my ass off before for yelling at the kids and…" He trailed off, feeling suddenly sheepish as he recalled his temper tantrum back at the Queen mansion.

"Acting like a total dick?" Tommy prompted, a dark eyebrow quirking.  "I saw that.  Kicked over a table and everything.  You're lucky all she did was yell at you."

"They'd be better off without me," Oliver whispered, feeling the pain of his own words spread through them.  "I make them miserable.  I made my wife and children cry and ruined their Christmas.  I've been ruining their  _lives_  all this time.  Everything I touch is ruined."

Tommy smiled at him, but it was a sad smile.  "You're too hard on yourself, Oliver."

"Not hard enough."  He stepped to the edge of the roof and looked down.  It was along way to the pavement below.  "Maybe I should just end it.  Felicity and the kids and Thea and my mom… they'd all be well taken care of.  There'd be no more threats against their lives because of what I do as the Arrow.  Digg could be free to enjoy his family.  No more death and pain and heartache.  Everyone would be much better off."

"Ollie, don't say that," Tommy chastised.  "You can't just throw away your life.  Think about what that would do to your family."

Oliver took a deep breath, the cold air stinging his lungs.  The snow was falling thicker now, blurring the skyline.  "No, you're right."  He paused.  "Maybe it'd be better if I hadn't been born at all."

Tommy's eyes went wide.  "Oliver!  You don't mean that!"

He stayed quiet though, his fists clenching and unclenching by his sides as he stared out at the city he'd given his whole life for.  "I do."

The ghost of Tommy paced behind him, muttering.  Then he stopped.  "Maybe that's the answer.  Maybe that's exactly it, Oliver."  He turned to face his friend and saw Tommy smiling at him again, this time happily.  "Are you sure, old friend?"

"Yes.  I'm sure."

In that moment a violent gust of wind blew across the roof of the Queen Consolidated building.  Oliver reached out to steady himself against a pole and when the wind had passed, he looked to Tommy who was still beaming at him.

"You've got your wish.  You've never been born."

"What?  You can't be serious."

Tommy gestured out at the city, which now sparkled clearly all around them.  The snow had stopped.  "This is a Starling City without the influence of one Oliver Queen.  Do you wanna go see what its like?  I know I'm dying of curiosity over here."

Oliver eyed Tommy suspiciously.  "I think you're pulling my leg.  You always did like a good prank."

His friend chuckled warmly.  "Yes, I did.  But this is no prank, I assure you."  He gestured to the roof access door.  "Shall we?  I might be a ghost but even I feel half frozen standing up here.  Let’s go explore."

 

***

Oliver could tell something was off the moment they started down the stairs.  Everything looked different.  Not obviously, but just enough that he noticed it right away.  When they arrived at the elevators, he noticed that the usual "QC" logo was missing.  In its place was a big "M" for Merlyn.  As he and Tommy stepped into the elevator, Oliver sent a questioning look at Tommy.

"You weren't here to save Queen Consolidated after your dad died in the sinking of the Queen's Gambit in 2007.  Your mom was arrested for her complicity in Merlyn's plan to destroy the Glades, so when she went to prison, Merlyn swooped in and took over," Tommy explained.

"Wait, Mom is in prison?"

"Yes, for the last nine years.  My dad didn't help her out.  Turns out, he wanted to get his hands on Thea and he knew it'd be easier to manage with Moira put away."

Oliver gaped at him.  The revelation that Malcolm was Thea's father had come out several years ago and had sent ripples of shock, betrayal, and anger through his family that were only just now healing.  Or, had been healing until tonight.  Which made another question occur to him.

"What about Thea?  Where is she?" Oliver asked Tommy.  His friend shrugged and gestured at the opening elevator doors.

"Let's go find out, shall we?"

They stepped out of the elevator into the darkened lobby of what used to be the Queen Consolidated building.  He began to stride towards the parking garage when Tommy put a stilling hand on his arm.  "Watch out for the guards.  Remember, they won't know you and you aren't exactly dressed to impress."

Oliver looked down at the green leather suit he wore.  He pulled his hood back and removed the mask, shoving it into a pocket but knowing that with the quiver and bow on his back, he still looked rather threatening.  Tommy had a very good point.

He stuck to the shadows, Tommy close to him the entire time, as he moved through the lobby.  A couple of times, the guard on duty came very close to discovering him and he had to hold his breath and remain deathly still to avoid detection.  Meanwhile, the only thing Oliver could keep thinking was how this wasn't  _right_.  This was his building, his company.  Surely it couldn't have just been him that had prevented all of this from happening.

When they finally made it into the parking garage, Oliver looked around for his motorcycle which he had left there when he'd arrived at the building not quite an hour before.  He was certain he'd left it near the door, but it was nowhere to be found.

"Maybe I parked a level up," he murmured.

"You don't have a motorcycle, Ollie." Tommy told him in a patient voice.

"Sure, I do.  It's how I got here tonight."

His friend shook his head. "You've never been born, remember?  There is no motorcycle because you weren't here to buy it.  Or park it.  Or do anything with it."

Oliver grumbled.  "Fine, I'll take a cab."

"With what money?"

Panic coursed through him as he dove into his pocket to where he routinely kept a hundred dollars or so tucked away.  There was nothing.  He looked to his friend with wide eyes.  Tommy simply threw back his head and laughed.  "I'll help you out this one last time, friend."

He passed him a folded wad of $20 bills which Oliver accepted gratefully.  "Thanks.  I owe you one."

"What would I do with money?  No, the only repayment I want is for you to get what you want tonight."

That was fairly cryptic.  Oliver grimaced and started towards the exit to the garage.  "Come on, let's catch a cab.  I want to go check on Thea."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver gets to see just how much Starling City has changed without him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks to lunarsilverwolfstar for giving this a quick beta for me. This is really just a silly little oneshot, an imagining that occurred to me while watching "It's a Wonderful Life". I wrote it as a oneshot, but it was rather long so I broke it up into three parts. This baby is all written! I'll post the last part tomorrow. :)

Oliver instructed the cab driver to take them to the building where Thea lived.  She shared an apartment with Roy.  Or… had.  Until Roy had been killed.  Tommy sat next to him, watching him as the cab moved through the streets of Starling City.  It was possible that Thea was out at the house with his family, but he also knew that his little sister valued her independence and wouldn't want to intrude on his holiday.  Felicity would likely insist, however.  Still, he was here in the city, it wouldn't take much to stop by and check.  The revelation about Merlyn made him worry for her.

Thea lived in the nicest apartment building in Starling City.  Hell, he _owned_ that building.  Everyone there knew him.  And even though he'd listened to Tommy and he (mostly) believed him, Oliver was still surprised when they pulled up in front and the doorman opened the cab door and didn't appear to recognize him at all.  He knew the doorman, Alonso was his name, quite well.  But the other man's eyes showed so sign of recognition as he held first the cab door open and then the door to the lobby.  Oliver thanked him politely and chased the chill from his spine as he walked inside.  Out of habit, he walked to the elevators only to be stopped by one of the desk attendants. 

"Can I help you, sir?"  The man whom Oliver knew as Roger looked at him the same way Alonso had.  

Oliver gestured at the elevators.  "I was just going up to visit my sister."

"Who is your sister?"

"Thea Queen."

Roger looked puzzled and… was that fear?  "There is no Thea Queen living here.  Do you mean Thea Merlyn?"

He felt his heart sink into his stomach.  "Yes."

Roger exchanged a look with the other desk clerk, Marvin.  "She doesn't live here.  I know who she is, but… no, she doesn't live here."

Oliver walked from the building, feeling unsettled.  He turned to Tommy who continued to follow after him silently.  "Why would she take his name?" he asked his friend. 

Tommy shrugged easily.  "He _is_ her father.  And with your mother in prison and you, well, not existing… what point was there to remaining a Queen?"

He wanted to argue with him, to insist that Thea would never do that.  But if this was actually happening, if this was a Starling City that he'd never been born into, didn't that mean anything was possible? Oliver stepped to the curb and lifted a hand, hailing another cab.  When one pulled up to the curb, Oliver opened the door and climbed in, Tommy on his heels.  He directed the driver to the Queen mansion.  The man looked at him oddly before shrugging his shoulders and turning his attention back to the road. 

As the skyscrapers of downtown gave way, Oliver looked out the windows curiously, wondering if they weren't headed the other direction.  The neighborhoods they passed were seedy and reminiscent of the Glades, which was in the opposite direction of the Queen mansion.  But no, this was the way.  As they crossed the river, he knew it was.  But this… this didn't look like the city he knew.  This wasn't the city he'd saved. 

"It's not the city you saved because you weren't here to save it," Tommy said from the seat next to him.  

Oliver's mind still wanted to deny it.  That feeling only grew as the cab driver pulled up in front of the gates of the Queen mansion.  The guard's shack was dark, empty, deserted.  In fact, the gates were in disrepair and vines covered the wrought iron as though no one had been through them in years.  

"What?" he gasped, staring out the window, disbelieving.  

"No one's lived here for almost ten years," the driver told him.  "I thought it was strange when you wanted to come here.  Figured you were maybe just curious."

Oliver sank back onto the seat of the cab and buried his face in his hands.  It was starting to come together and ice gripped his heart as the reality sunk in.  Without him, his family had been ruined.  The city had been ruined.  What about…  His heart caught in his throat.

He turned to Tommy.  "Where is she?  What is she doing?"

Tommy didn't have to ask who.  Instead, he leaned forward to the partition that separated the front and back seats of the cab.  He gave the driver an address that Oliver didn't recognize and passed a handful of bills through the small window.  The driver turned the cab around and headed back into the city without saying a word. 

"Do you know what happened to Laurel and her family?" he asked, looking to his friend who still watched him with a sympathetic expression.

"Yeah, the Lances left Starling City years ago.  Detective Lance got a promotion and a job offer in Gotham City.  When he left, Sara and Laurel followed.  Lance reconciled with Dinah and they're still together today."

He snorted.  "I guess not everything is worse without me here," he muttered.  

"No.  Not everything." 

Oliver didn't know if that knowledge made him feel better or worse.  He was leaning a bit towards worse as the cab pulled up in front of an unfamiliar office building.  "Where is this?" he asked Tommy. 

"You'll see," he promised.  They stepped out of the cab and Tommy lead the way into the lobby of the building.  It was still open on Christmas Eve, though the only people in the lobby were them and a couple of bored looking desk clerks.  The plaque behind the desk read: "Smoak Technology Associates".  Oliver turned to his friend, feeling incredulous.  

"Felicity is _here_?" he asked.  

Tommy nodded.  "This is her company that she formed after Queen Consolidated was bought out by Merlyn Industries.  Walter helped her get it going.  He's her CFO, actually."

Oliver didn't know how to feel about this.  Did this mean she was better off without him too?  He recalled an argument they'd had so many years ago about how her skills were wasted acting as his executive assistant and how she'd hated to leave the IT department.  Was this what she'd always wanted to do with her life?  

"Is she happy?" he asked, already afraid of the answer. 

"Why don't you see for yourself?"  Tommy gestured towards the elevator as one of them opened and Oliver ducked into an alcove so she wouldn't see him.  Not that she'd probably recognize him if she did.  That thought hurt.  

Felicity stepped off the elevator and promptly took his breath away.  She was just as gorgeous as she always was but she also looked completely different.  Her suit was designer made and tailored to fit her perfectly.  The pencil skirt displayed her shapely legs, ending in what Oliver recognized as a very expensive and very uncomfortable pair of stiletto heels.  Exactly the sort of shoes that his Felicity hated wearing.  Her hair was styled perfectly, her make up smoky and severe.  She looked wealthy in a way that she didn't look with his billions at her disposal.  She looked perfect and professional and very, very cold.  Gone were her usual glasses, meaning she was either wearing contacts (which he knew she hated to do) or she'd gotten laser surgery (another thing she was resistant to getting done).  And… was he imagining it or did her breasts look bigger?  Oliver glanced at Tommy and his friend nodded, leering a little.  

"And they're magnificent," he whispered seriously.  

Oliver bristled. 

Just as he was pondering how unlikely it was that Felicity would ever get plastic surgery, he noticed she was joined by a man.  It wasn't someone he recognized, but by the way he curled an arm around her waist possessively, he knew this had to be someone she was involved with.  They were approaching them and Oliver pressed back further into the shadows so he could continue to observe.  

"Edward, please.  You know I don't like to be manhandled," she said, pushing the man away.  Oliver fought a smirk.  He knew that was a lie.  Or at least it was where he was concerned.  

"Enough with the ice bitch routine, Lis," the man said, sounding bored.  

"Why don't you go find your mistress and paw her instead?" Felicity suggested, raising a perfectly groomed eyebrow.  She stopped a little way away from where Oliver and Tommy stood, still not noticing them, but fixing the man before her with a hard look. 

"Maybe I will," the man threatened.  "God knows you never touch me anymore." 

"Be my guest," she replied, sounding bored.  The man, Edward, fixed her with a glare as he turned and strode away through the doors that apparently led to the parking garage.  When he was gone, her shoulders slumped and she looked… disappointed.  Oliver's heart twisted.  

She had just started to move towards the parking garage herself when Tommy made a little cough from next to him.  Her head whipped out, finding where they stood in the shadows and her brows drew together.  Oliver fought the urge to turn to his friend with an accusatory look.  Why had he done _that_?

"What are you doing there?" she called out to them, striding over to the alcove where they stood.  "Spying on me?  Did Merlyn send you?"

Oliver gaped at her.  "Felicity," he began, forgetting for a moment that she didn't know him.  

Her dark blue eyes narrowed.  "How do you know who I am?  Who are you?"

"Uh, I'm just… no one," he said, floundering.  "I was, er, just waiting for a cab."

She quirked an eyebrow, cocking her head a little and it was such a familiar expression on her that his heart twisted even more.  It was very similar to the looks she'd given him when they'd first met, when he'd peddled her lie after lie and she had seen through every single one. 

But before she could call him on it, there was a resounding crash and the building seemed to shake around them. Oliver reached out, grabbed Felicity's wrist and pulled her behind him without even thinking about it.  She yelped both in surprise and what he recognized as indignation.  The plate glass windows at the front of the lobby had been smashed and smoke poured through them, meant to disorient and frighten anyone inside.  

"What is it?" he hissed to Tommy. 

"I don't know.  I'm as surprised as you," he replied.  

Oliver peered through the smoke and saw a few figures enter the building, both decked in dark leather and hefting weapons.  

"Where is Ms. Smoak?" the larger figure barked at one of the desk clerks.  The man cowered and the pointed to where Felicity stood behind Oliver and Tommy. 

Oliver's stomach dropped.  He recognized both that voice and the face of the man who now faced him.  John Diggle.  His friend and ally.  The other person joined him and when she turned, he caught her face and his stomach fell even further.   _Thea_.

Their expressions were hard, cold, and unfeeling, as they strode over to where they stood.  As they approached, they each hefted guns, pointing them at himself and Tommy.  "Step aside.  This doesn't concern you.  We are here for the woman."

"I told your boss countless times, I'm not joining his merry band," Felicity growled behind them.

"And I told you," Thea said, her voice flinty, making Oliver cringe, "no one says no to Malcolm Merlyn."

"You heard the lady.  She said no," Oliver said, trying to keep his own voice measured and controlled, and hopefully intimidating.  Though these were some of the last people he ever wanted to intimidate.  What the _hell_ was going on here?

"Hey, I don't need you to fight my battles," Felicity protested.  "I don't even know who you are."

He turned to her, taking her shoulders in his and meeting her eyes with his, willing her to see him.  To know him.  "You do know me, Felicity.  You know me very well."

"Oh yeah?  How is that?"

"I'm your husband," he insisted.  Her eyes widened and he heard Tommy groan next to him.  Digg and Thea paused, lowering their guns a little as they both gaped.  

"What?" she gasped, laughing a little nervously.  "You're _insane._  I've never seen you before in my life."

"Felicity, listen to me.  Look at me.  You _know_ me," he insisted, giving her a little shake.  She did look at him then and her eyes widened a little.  Oliver wanted her to see, to understand, to feel something of the connection that he knew they shared and had shared since the day he first met her in the IT Department at QC.

Her breath stilled and her eyes softened a little.  She knew him.  Somehow, she did.  She _had_ to.

A moment later, she was yanked away.  Digg had her clamped to his side, her wrists secured in one of his hands.  Oliver darted forward.  "No!  Please!"

"Get your hands off of me, you big mountain!" Felicity shrieked, struggling against Digg's iron grip.  

Thea was watching him speculatively.  "Digg, I think he's telling the truth.  I think he's connected to her.  We better bring him to Dad too."

"Hmm.  You might be right," Digg said speculatively.  

Tommy elbowed him hard in the side.  "Run!"  

Oliver looked to his old friend.  "Now!  Go!  You can't let Merlyn get his hands on you or you'll be stuck here forever."

Thea and Digg exchanged a look and Digg pushed Felicity towards Thea, who grabbed her.  He advanced on Oliver and before he turned and ran, he saw Felicity struggling against Thea, throwing punches and hurling curses.  Tommy made to block Digg's advance and Oliver knew that if he was to get away, he'd have to go.  He'd stand no chance against Digg's superior strength.  Years of sparring together had taught him that much.  As much as he hated to turn his back on the people he loved the most, he ran from the building, out the smashed window and onto the cold streets of Starling City.  

Where would he go?  How could he get out of this?  Surely they had Tommy by now and if they had Tommy, how would he get back to where he belonged?  The only thing he knew to do was to go back to where everything had gone so wrong.  The roof of the former QC building.  

Oliver ran through the streets, finally recognizing his surroundings and approaching the familiar skyscraper that now beheld the Merlyn logo.  As he stopped before the doors, pondering how best to get inside, he heard a noise behind him and he whirled around.  Digg was closing in, running after him, a determined and flinty expression on his face.  Right.  The time for subtlety was through. 

He looked around and noticed a cement planter near the front doors.  Hefting the planter, he threw it at the glass doors and they shattered spectacularly.  Alarms rang out and red lights flashed but Oliver didn't waste time looking behind him to see how close Digg was getting.  He had to get up to the roof.  


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver finds his own Christmas miracle waiting for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone has been reading along and has left me kudos and comments and said nice things. I know this was rough, I wrote it in a 24 hour time period and instead of keeping it to myself, I decided to share, in the spirit of Christmas. ;) Another thanks to lunarsilverwolfstar for giving it a once-over for me. 
> 
> Merry Christmas, everyone!

The security system had locked down the elevators so he had to take the stairs.  It was more flights than he'd run up in quite a few years but luckily Oliver was still in top shape.  As he heard Digg push through the door several flights below him and begin to pound up the stairs, he realized his partner was also in top shape.  He put on extra speed, feeling the burn in his hamstrings as he ran up the stairs, skipping every other step.  The last several flights were hard; he could feel his chest burn as he pulled in air and only the sound of Digg gasping just as hard several floors beneath him in the stairwell kept him going.  

Finally, Oliver reached the roof access door and he burst out of it.  It looked just as it had when he'd been there before with Tommy.  He wondered for a moment where the ghost of his friend must be.  "Tommy!" he yelled, as if he could conjure him.  He was greeted by silence and the distant sound of traffic from far below. 

He hurried to the edge of the building and looked down.  He looked all around.  Then, he looked up at the cloudless sky, at the stars twinkling.  His eyes slid shut.  It was now or never.  Oliver had never been the praying sort, preferring to rely on his own competence to get him through a sticky bind.  But this bind was stickier than most and he was smart enough to know when he was out of options. 

"Please," he begged out loud.  "I want to live again.  Please.  This… this can't be it.  I don't want this.  I thought I did but I don't.  Please."

Oliver fell to his knees, his head falling forward as he heard the roof access door slam open behind him.  "Please," he whispered again.  He felt wetness on his cheek and wondered if he was crying.  This couldn't be it.  He still had fight left.  There was still _something_ he could do. 

"Oliver!" Digg called out, the crunching of his boots on the rooftop gravel growing closer.  Oliver sprung to his feet and turned to face his one-time friend.

"Don't come near me, Digg.  You won't take me without a fight!" he warned, reaching for his bow behind his back and nocking an arrow.  It'd been many years since he'd pointed his weapon of choice at his friend, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

"What are you talking about?"  Digg looked confused and Oliver felt his head swim with disorientation.  Then he noticed the snowflakes falling steadily around them, already building up on the gravel of the rooftop.  Hadn't the skies been clear just a moment ago?

"Tell me where Thea has taken Felicity and I won't be forced to arrow you," he growled. 

Digg raised his hands, now approaching him much slower.  "Oliver.  Put the bow down.  I'm not here to hurt you.  I don't know what you're talking about, Felicity is back at the mansion.  She sent me to find you."

The earnestness in his friend's expression finally convinced him.  Oliver lowered his bow and stared with wide eyes at John Diggle.  He wasn't wearing the leather outfit from before, but his more standard attire of button-down shirt and trousers.  He looked around at the falling snow and felt hope leap forward in his chest. 

"Am I back?"

Digg looked bemused.  "I don't know.  Did you go somewhere?"

Oliver sheathed his arrow and hung the bow back across his back.  "I did," he said, exhaling noisily.  "But I'm back now." 

Then he lunged forward and embraced his friend.  Digg stiffened up, clearly not used to a show of affection from his stoic friend. "You sure you're okay?"

Oliver released him and beamed at his friend, his smile wide enough to crack his face. "I'm more than okay, Digg.  I'm better than I've been in a long time." 

Digg finally returned his grin.  "Well, I think you're gonna get even better then.  Come on, Oliver, lets go back to the house."

Suddenly, Oliver couldn't wait to get back to his family.  Even with the troubles currently rising up against them, as long as they were all together, they could fight anything.  Right then, he wanted nothing more than to grab Felicity in his arms and hug her tightly to him.   And never let her go.    Oh, and the _kids_.  He couldn't wait to see the smiles on their faces Christmas morning when they saw the presents he had snuck around Starling City acquiring for them.  

"Let's hurry, Digg," he said as they walked down the stairs and stepped into a waiting elevator.  "I want to get home."

***

They stopped at the lair briefly so that Oliver could change out of the leathers and into his usual suit.  Oliver wasn't too keen on wasting any more time.  Digg rolled his eyes at him as Oliver urged him to go just a little faster as he steered the Bentley through the streets of Starling City.  Streets that looked the way they should, he noticed.  Thank _god._ Oliver closed his eyes and sent a quick prayer of thanks to Tommy and anyone else who had listened for hearing his prayer.

His excitement only grew as they drove through the gates of the Queen mansion.  Oliver barely waited for Digg to bring the car to a stop before he was flinging the door open and bounding out and towards the front door.  "Felicity!" he called as he threw the door open.  

Inside, his children went running by, followed closely by Digg's children.  They were laughing and shrieking and hardly paid him any mind.  The sound of Christmas carols being piped through the sound system filled the air and the Noble fir in the living room was decorated just as he'd remembered it, and lit with more lights than was probably prudent.  He called for his wife again, hurrying through rooms in his haste to find her.  

He found her in the kitchen, talking to Raisa and Moira and snacking on a bowl of pretzels.  

"There you are!" she exclaimed when she saw him standing in the doorway.  

She looked amazing.  Wearing a simple blue dress, her hair down and curled casually around her shoulders and her makeup natural, he'd never seen her look quite so beautiful.  Oliver took two long strides before grabbing her and pulling her into his arms.  He bent down, capturing her lips with his.  He held the back of her head with one hand, holding her to him as he kissed her with every emotion that was rebounding in his heart.  His mother and Raisa cried out in alarm at his public display of affection, but Oliver couldn't have cared less.  He nibbled at her lips, swallowing her gasp and gliding his tongue along hers.  Felicity clung to him, her fists bunching the material of his button-down shirt and she whimpered as he continued to kiss her.   _Never forget this_ , he told himself.   _Never forget how she feels or how she tastes or how she sounds._  

Finally, he released her and smiled down into her eyes which were now hazed with desire.  She blinked, blushing as she chanced a glance over at his mother and Raisa who were watching them both with equally surprised expressions.  "What was that for?" she asked. 

"Do I need a reason to kiss my wife?" he asked playfully, nudging his nose along hers before pressing a kiss to the corner of her jaw.  He felt her shudder against him and he smiled into her soft skin.  

"When you act like you want to devour her on the kitchen counter in front of witnesses, you do," she muttered.  The image she called up stirred his desire and he growled, nipping a little at her neck before finally releasing her and stepping back. 

"Later," he promised, enjoying how her blush deepened. 

"Right now," she said, in a louder voice, moving away from him but beckoning for him to follow her.  "You haven't seen the best part."

Oliver cocked his head to one side.  "Best part of what?"  He looked to his mother and their beloved housekeeper, noting the small smiles on their faces.  

"Everything," Felicity assured him.  "It's a Christmas miracle."

He followed her into the formal sitting room.  And there, on the sofa before the second Christmas tree (the one he thought as the "family tree" as it was decorated with popcorn strings and ornaments crafted by his children), sat Roy Harper.  His leg was propped up on an ottoman and Thea was fluttering around him, arranging pillows and blankets, but he was _there._ Alive. Oliver stopped dead in his tracks and looked at Felicity and then back at Roy and Thea who had turned to see him enter. 

"How?" was all he could say. 

"Guess the mirakuru made me stronger than we thought.  Digg said you brought me back to the lair after… well… after.  Right?" Roy said.  He smiled at Thea who smiled gently back.  She'd been brought in on their little "secret" years ago, before her niece and nephew had been born.

Oliver nodded.  "You were _dead_ , Roy.  I saw you."

"You said the same thing about Slade once, remember?" Roy reminded him.  Oliver winced at the reminder of his old friend from the island and the circle of betrayal between them.  

"I do remember."  He walked over to the sofa an held out his hand.  Roy took it gratefully and Oliver pumped the other man's hand.  "I'm damn glad to see you alive.  Damn glad."

Roy smiled.  "I am too. Thea would never have forgiven me if I'd died."

She swatted his arm gently.  "I still don't know if I'll forgive you.  You scared me to death, Roy Harper."

He kissed her and Oliver turned away to give them some privacy.  He saw Felicity standing there, smiling at him, her eyes shining with tears.  "It's good, yes?" she asked him. 

"Oh, yes," he replied.  He took her in his arms again.  "This is the best Christmas I could have ever hoped for."

"I'm so glad you came back," she said and he felt a pang that she'd ever doubted he would.  Then he remembered the dark thoughts he'd had on that rooftop and squeezed her tighter. 

"I'm so sorry for throwing that tantrum before.  You didn't deserve that and neither did the kids.  I wasn't thinking straight," he apologized, breathing in the scent of her hair. 

"You're forgiven," she whispered back.  "Don't do it again."

"I won't," he promised.  He knew it was a foolish promise to make.  Oliver knew he was a flawed man.  He'd healed quite a bit over the years, but even he stumbled now and then.  He was just damned grateful that he had such wonderful friends and family to catch him when he fell. 

"Daddy!  You're home!" a small, shrill voice squealed.  A moment later, two sets of arms wrapped around his legs and he looked down to see Robert, aged six, and his little sister Megan, aged four, hugging him tightly.  He bent down and scooped Megan into his arms, lifting her over his head so she shrieked with delight.  

"Can we open a present before bedtime?" Robert asked, his blue eyes big and pleading.  "Please?  Mom said we had to ask you."

Oliver caught Felicity's eye and she smiled gently at him.  He smiled back.  "Yeah, I think that's a great idea."  

He set Megan down and both kids erupted into cheers as Digg, Lyla, their children as well as his Mother entered the room. Raisa followed, carrying a platter of snacks.  Everyone settled onto the sofa while the two Queen children poked around in the pile of presents arranged around the family tree.  Oliver wrapped his arm around Felicity's shoulders, pulling her tightly to his side.  Right now, there was no where else he'd rather be than right here, where he belonged.


End file.
